Holy Captivity

Written By: Subhi Nahas

Just want to close my eyes,

Destroy this scenery.

This world is full of hate,

Swimming in reverie.

Going to wake up free,

Releasing all agony.

Fire and stones smashing,

They are on a missionary.

Skin me, shoot me,

Nothing really amazes me.

I am the son of the stars.

You, all are but an imaginary.

There is no happiness to engulf,

All this sad memories.

Fate is just a waste,

It does not know mercy.

I will not have you.

You will never set me free!

MBC Hits again with "List of Shame"

Homophobia on MBC TV

Written by: Subhi Nahhas

MBC (Cairo), one of the biggest Arabic media channels chains. Hits against LGBTQ people again, with its recent homophobic campaign. Previously, the media coverage for LGBTQ news and reporting them with demeaning and hateful language. Now, using Hollywood stars who came out and describing them and their coming out with degrading language.

The media agency published an article on 15th of September under the title of "List of Shame: Hollywood stars that revealed their {abnormal sexuality}". the writer started by, "their announcements came as a hit/shock to all their fans around the world, they are Hollywood stars who came out with their abnormal sexuality". Later, he lists eight names including: Ricky Martin, Cameron Diaz, Jodi Foster, and Daniel Radcliffe. Describing all their sexuality and behaviors as abnormal and not complying with the laws of nature.


You can view and read, if you are an Arabic reader, the article from here

Update: the article was removed from the media channel website.

Born with a Penis

Born with a Penis

Written and Translated by: Subhi nahhas

Arabic Version: published in Mawaleh mag

Being born with a penis would certainly put you in a box to fit the stereotyped image they designed for you. They will raise you to become their image, hopes and ambitions they lost. Well, do not try to fit me in your boxes.

My penis does not mean I have to be butch, aggressive, like sports, like girls or have a successful businessman as my role-model! I do not have to wear loose jeans, leather shoes, and dress like everyone else. I do not have to keep my body hair or set in a certain way to show my balls off. I do not have to show my testosterone by inheriting your acts. My manhood belongs to me and I will not try to prove it to any one, I am “me” before you assign me a gender.

Yes, I do have a penis, still, it does not mean; I have to date a girl, open the door, pull the chair, watch my language or pay the bills wherever we go. However, I won’t date a girl, I will date a man, not because, girls are inferior, simply because I like to date men. Not because I act, feel, dress or look like a girl. I am just a man who likes penis; it does not demean or make me any less than a man, it does not make me an alien on planet earth.

I refuse to be derided by society, being mistreated verbally and physically. I will not allow your expectations and opinions to shape who I am or let my penis shape who I will be. I will stand and defend my rights as a human being, if you come and stood with me that won’t render you any different, but it will mark you as a human being too.

FSA interrogating a gay person.

After publishing this video, I received many complaints and feedback on why I have not translated the whole video. some accused me of being biased and not impartial.
So this is a revisit to the post with full translation.

The video above was recorder for a captured police station officer, the FSA soldier claim that they wanted to release the officer until they searched his mobile phone and found a video for him and his BF.

The dialogue:
00.30: they asked him to introduce himself and to tell about his position and job.

00.31: they told him that the FSA wanted to release him and send him how, but why the FSA did not do that? in addition, they made him confess that nobody abused his physically; did anybody slap, kick you? . later FSA soldier adds, then why did we torture and hit you later on?

00.57: The officer confesses that the FSA found a videos for him and another guy called "Akram" having sex. we videoed ourselves more than once,

01.23: they asked him, why did you video yourselves while having sex?

01.28: he told them because of love.

01.31 he continues to confess about another case; a year a go, a woman came to raise a complaint so I had sex with her.

1.40 FSA ask if he did that in the office or somewhere else?

1.42 He answers, Yes, in the office, in addition, the FSA found Viagra bills.

1.50 FSA, Why do you used these bills for?

1.56 I used it as a sex enhancer.

1.59 FSA, how did you have sex with that woman inside the police station? did rape her, or you had her consent?

2.06 I raped her.

2.08 FSA, you are the head of the police station, you need to enjoy, is that right?

2.12 FSA, you and that boy, how you were doing it together?

2.15 I rape him.

2.16 FSA, NO, tell me the truth.

2.19 another voice, What did you bring him to have sex. FSA, in the pictures on your mobile, you dressed him as a woman with lingerie. is this true or not?

2.27 Yes, it is true.

2.30 They made him say, Hail to the FSA. They continue to say, is all the regime forces like this? you are the head of the station, if you are the best!!!
2.51 What do you like to say for the people on TV, cause we are going to upload this to the TV?
2.58 I call all the officers working for the regime to defect and joint he FSA.

They continue to ask him; why the FSA? another voice answers, because you are "luti" -in English it means fagot, but the Arabic one is more demeaning- at last, At some part you could hear a sound in the background instructing him what to say. at the end, the FSA claimed that despite all his confessions, they would send him back again to his family.

They Killed The Rainbow

They killed the Rainbow

Written and translated by: Subhi Nahhas.

Arabic ver were published by: Barra Magazine.

When freedom comes knocking on doors, all demons come out to play to render it into powder, once was dreams maker.

As fire consumes everything comes her way, also, demons always pushing to burn and desiccate all dreams. Removing all possible happiness we could feel from a dream came rushing out from a nightmare’s womb.

Dreams came rushing into my home, Syria, and started infecting all flowers with freedom scent. Leaving them no choice but to explode into “nightmares”.  Everything became unbearable, life, roses and trees’ leaves. The black rainbow they raised killed all colors. Islamic group were infesting the playgrounds of community minds’ pool. All thoughts were shifting, and manifested later into a monstrous prison for JAN.

One day, a video for a gay person was spreading; it was seen as a chance to move their forces into motion and attack the peace we were living in. the video was taken to blackmail the person, and when he refused to comply, it was delivered to those groups.

A full attack force were released to capture the doomed person. Full beards and arms marched to quarantine the infection before spreading; promising to cleanse the city from all “fagot” infections with all means necessary.

Now, the monsters in the prison have a toy to play with, no one heard anything about him for a longtime. However, every day, there were a march to capture another toy. They were torturing him to confess his “crimes”. Toys were accumulating and reached over 30, “you have to be punished and cleansed” they screamed, “pay a fee to God to clean yourselves or stay between these walls”.

Days were counted and fear was growing, they may stone them to death, rape or keep them in. I escaped my town and lost my communications before I see what they might do.

The situation deteriorated and bombardment started in the city, they were released to freedom, but I still wonder if things did not turn out this way and what could have been done to these people!

When your dreams are too lucid, reality comes smashing imagination until you cannot distinguish between what is real and not.

When freedom marched we marched with her, full of hopes, participating in all celebration made to her name. We wanted it since our birth and we understand its value more they could perceive.

Our steps are stained now with innocence’s blood and screams. Most of us, started to look the other way afraid from being put down or prosecuted for who they are.

I wonder who we are now! How they look at us, while we are among them! What they could do if they ever found out!

Homophobia in Addonia TV.

This Video resembles some Homophobic acts, exist inside the Syrian Media news channel "Addonia". 

Guy from another Universe.

A guy from another universe

/Childhood/

It has been a while since I wrote anything readable, or thought straight. Always busy casting away the voices that does not belong inside my head. I have never experienced anything this overwhelming before thoughts, imaginaries, and nightmares all colliding into one entity inside me. Sometimes manifesting in a little child’s face, talks to me, drives me to do things I never possibly could do willingly, however, I am still in control within my mind’s attic, all other rooms were invaded by monsters of all sizes and shapes, lurking around the corners ready to attack.

What happened to me that made me fear myself! I really cannot remember much! All the memories I have now linger at a moment once separated illusions from engulfing my reality.

I was a child, yes, I was, I used to be full of hopes and joyful melodies, the world was my playground and the sky was my favorite plate to draw out my positive energies. I was a different child, often alone at the elementary school, except for a time I remember when a boy from another school transferred to mine. We became mates for a while, and then he transferred to another school. It was my first intellectual experience in school. After this sweet taste of human relation, all I can remember is humiliation and blood. I was often bullied verbally and sometimes, physically; I remember one day fainting at the school’s playground and waking up on the manager’s sofa blooded, he sent me home afterward.

I cleaned up what I possibly could and went back home, where anybody would feel safe it is supposed to be a safe haven, RIGHT! However, not for me. It was like a dungeon and the keeper was my father, at that day he continued what the other kids started. He thought by doing that he would create a “Man” that I will be more butch, act in manly manners – according to his image of male person. To be more like my little brother, his favorite. Well, that did not work out well! I remained the same even became worse; more closed to myself to a point I stopped interacting with my family and at school.

Things were like hell and not going in a good direction, as I passed my elementary school and entered the intermediate stage. I became more aware of myself and my sexual orientation, I couldn’t talk to anyone and I felt far away from them all; my family and alleged friends; I thought that these emotions belong to me and me alone. There is no one else in the whole world that would understand.

Two years passed by and nothing changed; bullying got worse, my family did not do anything – not until later I found out why – I do not want to be dramatic, but my life is like a drama series which bad scenes never stop coming.

One day, I remember it was rainy, fiery, and cozy. There was a movie on TV, cannot recall the title but it included a hazy gay scene, despite all edits, still their looks were so familiar and obvious to me. A bad translation later referred to them later as “unnatural” at that night there was light in my eyes again, there are other entities feel the same as I do, may be more than two or more than I let myself imagine. Some might laugh or accuse me of being a fool, actually, I was. With the absence of reference or a way to communicate with others, how could I possibly know in such small and hostile town environment?

The word “unnatural” became my motto. I felled victim in a propaganda I never knew existed, at 2001 I had my first PC with 56 KB internet connection, I was thrilled and it was a beginning of a new era to me and my knowledge, where my childhood ended and another chapter full of journeys and discoveries began.