Who is Nour???

Who is Nour???

I discovered myself to be "Gay" at quite early age, this discovery along with small town environment combined to create a dark depressed state, which drowned me in rivers of questions. I felt all alone; like I am the only one in the world with these kind of emotion, with no resources or knowledge I only experienced what I feel via dreaming.

I wasn't lucky as other gays who lived in big towns, I had no one to talk to which later became an advantage, it made me come out to my family although I had to do it like ten times but it worth it. They took a long time understanding it, until now my mom doesn't fully get it.

I had a troubled childhood and adolescence, I was often bullied and verbally abused, I wasn't strong enough to fight them back, I had small body. This made me shut myself off from the world and start to build my own imaginary castle to shelter me from reality. The university wasn't any better, actually it was worse, I didn't complete my first year at the IT major because of bullying, so I went to "Open Learning Center", because I didn't have to go to campus or deal with any student.

I had lots of free space so I started writing, I wrote my emotions and the world prints in my mind, although my writings sometimes seemed unrealistic, I was pretty happy expressing myself on paper. And then came the fast internet, and then came the blogging trend. I felt so tempted to try it. It then became a part of my daily routine. Later on I was contacted by "Sami Hamwi" – the magazine founder - telling me about a magazine project to support LGBTQs in Syria and ME, I immediately accepted and was very excited about the idea, I already have nothing to risk or lose.

Mawaleh promises a lot and I know it can and it will deliver, with so much to offer for the LGBTQs community I believe it is the right step to start with to having a better perspective on ourselves and our rights…

Written for, and published in Mawaleh magazine English version. read here